You do not want to mess with an Argentinean, even a feather-haired skinny one. Some poor cameraman found that out the hard way after jacking defender Gabriel Heinze in the face while he was celebrating teammate Gonzalo Higuain’s score in the 32nd minute. Heinze immediately retaliated, slapping the camera and snarling at the incompetent S.O.B. working the damn machine. Someone get that diva a Snickers bar.

Argentina would leave Soccer City Stadium Sunday with a 3-1 victory over team Mexico. The win puts them on track to face Germany for a shot to get into the final four (full bracket here) and gives the rest of the world more opportunities to watch their unorthodox (a.k.a. batshit crazy) coach Diego Maradona. Yahtzee.

I know we’ve been a little World Cup heavy here at the Bore. I also understand that most of you are men, and thus have a genetic predisposition to hate soccer. We owe you all an apology…

For a short while the entire country was on edge, collectively rooting for the Red, White and Blue, and here we were drinking the juice. All excited about Landon Donovan’s improbable extra-time goal I was ready to hit the stores and grab myself a vuvuzela. Next thing you know we drop the ball with a heart-breaking 2-1 extra time loss to a less than intimidating Ghana squad. Now us burger-eating Americans are stuck with baseball highlights on SportsCenter until football season starts up again… Ugh.

See you in another four years, soccer.

As if taking two would-be game winning goals off the board wasn’t enough injustice, the zebras at the World Cup are letting the Americans get tossed around for not so little as a yellow card. Team USA midfielder Clint Dempsey (above) was pimp slapped by Algeria’s Antar Yahia (after the jump) but the refs somehow missed it… Okay, it’s not the most vicious thing I’ve seen, but isn’t this supposed to be soccer?

Team USA advanced out of group play with their remarkable win yesterday and will face Ghana Saturday at 2:30 pm ET. Check out the full bracket here.

Landon Donovan knocked in the go-ahead goal during extra time to lead USA past Algeria this morning in South Africa. The rest of the world – namely a pair of rancid refs – did their best to keep us out, but team USA has officially moved past group play and into the second round of the World Cup with the win. In the first half of the match another out-to-get the Red, White and Blue ref took a U.S. goal off the board for an offside. Only the call was bullshit, much like the controversial whistle-blow that cost team USA a “W” against Slovenia.

I wondered why folks all around the globe root against the Americans until ESPN showed live footage of the patrons at Atlantic Crossing Pub in Seattle, WA. Really guys, shitfaced at 8:30 am on a Wednesday? Go to work you bums. But seriously, if we get any more scores taken away unjustly I say we show up four years from now with football pads on…

World Cup action continues later today at 2:30 pm ET when Germany faces Ghana and Australia takes on Serbia on ESPN and ESPN2 respectively.

The most handsome man in soccer broke his 1,300+ minute scoring drought in international open play today. The goal was scored in the 87th minute against the lowly North Korean team, extending their lead to 6-0 in a one-sided Portuguese ass-whopping that would see a final tally of 7-0. Despite the razzle-dazzle of the shot, few here stateside are impressed, Ronaldo.

Is it just me or is the North Korean soccer team composed of a bunch of goof balls? First we learned that they were training at a public gym in South Africa (above). Then we saw an emotional display of patriotism (vid after jump), which I usually like… when it’s American patriotism (U-S-A, U-S-A!). Crying for your homeland is fine, but if your homeland is North Korea ya’ ought to keep those crocodile tears in their respective ducts. I mean your leader is the world’s best example of the Napoleon complex.

None the less you have to adore the underdog team getting their reps in at the local gym, so that should make it more disheartening when I tell you they lost 7-0 to Portugal today…. Yikes. Lets start saving for a private gym four years from now, Mr. Jong-il, this is getting embarrassing.

I’ve got a feeling the folks at ESPN are kicking themselves for the layout of their scoreboard during the Nigeria/Germany game… Update on actual game-play to come, stay tuned!

It’s well documented that the staff here at SportsBore are far from soccer fans – in fact I’d rather be fathered by this dude than watch a full 90 minutes of the sport – but there’s something special about World Cup action. Team USA got off to a fortunate start Saturday, tying the star-studded England squad in the first round of group play 1-1.

If you missed highlights from the contest here’s a cooler-than-reality, lego version of the action (above). Despite tallying a score in the first four minutes of play the team England goalie botched an easy save and allowed the game-tying goal to trickle into the net. The Red, White and Blue will move along to face current group leader Slovenia tomorrow morning. The game kicks off at 10 am ET on ESPN. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!

He’s been a one-handed bowler, the dopest white boy on the court and a boxer fighting his BFF for the shot at a belt, but Woody had the chance to play real-life sports hero Sunday when he stepped up for the eleventh and potentially game-winning penalty kick at the 2010 Soccer Aid event. Action was locked up at 2-2 after 90 minutes of play when the teams went into a celeb-only shootout. Playing alongside fellow stars Mike Myers, Gordon Ramsay and Ricky Hatton, Woody knocked in the game winner and got the 65-thousand screaming fans off their seats. It was no 45-yard line drive, but he got the job done. Check it out after the jump.