You may remember DeMar DeRozan from NBA All-Star Weekend. He was the goofy-looking rookie who dunked himself into the Dunk Contest, and, quite frankly, he was the best dunker in the contest even though he didn’t win. Check out his nasty, in-game, alley-oop, off-the-backboard dunk… kind of reminds me of me during rec league games.

The NBA Dunk Contest was a joke… again. Now the NBA is going to force another mediocre, anti-climactic All-Star Game down our throats and I’m not swallowing (that sounded really bad, but you get my point). The NBA All-Star Weekend been a complete joke so far, and I’m predicting the All-Star Game will be the biggest disappointment yet.

Considering the fact that Kobe Bryant, the second best player in the NBA, isn’t playing is enough for me. If that’s not enough to convince you, remember our post titled, “The NBA All-Star Game is a Joke” where I explained how washed-up All-Stars like Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson became starters because of fan voting. Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson playing in the All-Star Game? Give me a fucking break.

Twisted Sister couldn’t have said it any better, “We’re not gonna take it anymore!”

So, in defiance of the NBA, and their shit-bag All-Star Weekend, I’ve provided some alternatives to the All-Star Game tonight at 8:00…

1. Take your girl on a date and tell her you won’t even glance at the All-Star Game because you just want to spend time with her. This is a rare opportunity to put her first and get some serious brownie points (little does she know you’re not really sacrificing anything).

2. Winter Olympics coverage on NBC at 7:00 EST. Sure the Olympics suck, but they don’t suck as bad as the All-Star Game.

3. “The Secret Life of Tiger Woods” airs on The Learning Channel tonight at 8:00 EST. Personally, I think Tiger banging random chicks in Vegas is way more interesting than watching Allen Iverson try to keep up with real NBA stars.

4. ESPN has a SportCenter “Special” starting at 8:00 EST tonight. I don’t know what this is, but it’s gotta be better than watching Dwight Howard playing around trying to be funny during the All-Star Game.

5. Take a crap. If none of the first 4 options are for you might I suggest grabbing a good magazine and taking an hour-long shit? I’d rather be sitting on the shitter, waiting for my legs to go numb than watch the NBA All-Star game.

If LeBron James is playing, I’ll watch. If LeBron isn’t playing, then I’m not watching the NBA. The only other player in the NBA who’s truly worth watching is Kobe Bryant, but I don’t like Kobe, so I don’t care to watch him play. The NBA has been trying to sell me other stars, but I’m not buying.

Guys like Dwight Howard, Dwayne Wade and Carmello Anthony are great players, but they’re not true “superstars.” Other players like TracyMcGrady, Allen Iverson and Kevin Garnett used to be superstars, but they’re not any more. Which brings me to the question at hand, why are aging stars like Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson still getting picked for the NBA All-Star Game?

So far this season, Tracy McGrady has played in only 6 games and is averaging 3.2 points. Earlier this season Allen Iverson was dealt by the Memphis Grizzlies and the Sixers picked him up in a pity-trade. In 17 total games this season, Iverson has averaged only 14.9 points and 4.4 assists. Can somebody please tell me what has been “All-Star” about either one of these guys this year?

Celtics guard, Ray Allen, doesn’t think McGrady and Iverson should be All-Stars either. The fans control 100% of the All-Star voting and Allen thinks that should be changed to include players, coaches and the media as well.

Allen commented, “Tracy, if he played, I’m sure he’d play well enough to be an All-Star player because he’s done that his career. But again, that’s taking away from another player in the Western Conference that’s having a great year, that’s been playing, that deserves to be in there.”

Ray is right, and the NBA needs a change, but NBA spokesman, Brian McIntyre, responded to Allen’s comments saying, “We look at it as a great way to engage the fans. We think it’s a good system.”

What is Brian McIntyre smoking? Does he really believe Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson should be in the All-Star game? If the NBA actually took the All-Star game seriously it could be interesting. Like I said, I won’t watch NBA games unless LeBron is playing, but that’s because I don’t know many of the younger stars in the NBA. They simply don’t get the exposure with exception of a few highlights on SporsCenter now and again.

The All-Star game should showcase of the best players that season, not the most popular. I want to see the guy who’s averaging 28 and 10 every night, not a 34 year-old, washed up star. Basing the All-Star voting on performance would allow fans to see young, fresh, small-market players, which would breathe some life into a stale, two-man league.

Commissioner David Stern needs to stop letting belligerent, NBA fans vote for their old hero’s and start picking the best players for the All-Star game based on performance. Who knows, there might actually be some players out there other than LeBron and Kobe who could catch my attention? Hell, I might even start following other teams and watching teams other than the Cavs and Lakers. But until the NBA starts promoting it’s best players, as opposed to it’s fallen hero’s, I’ll settle for NCAA basketball.

Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson as All-Stars? Give me a fucking break.