When I was in middle school I noticed a friend of mine was reading  a book during afternoon recess. My friend wasn’t a dork, and he always played basketball with us during recess, so I asked him what was so great about the book.

He didn’t say anything, he just read an excerpt from the book, and I immediately understood why he didn’t play that day:

…………………………..

Dear Bill,

Fuck You.

Love,
Charles Barkley

…………………………..

The passage was a letter Charles Barkley sent to his arch-nemesis, Bill Laimbeer, that he posted in his book, Outrageous! I was instantly hooked.

I told my friend I wanted to read the book immediately once he was done with it. He gave me the book the next day and I decided to go to the library during recess on a beautiful sunny day to get started. I holed up at a study carrel and took the cover off so none of the librarians could see what I was reading. I was obsessed.

Every other sentence was “fuck this” and “fuck that.” My senses were overwhelmed. All I could think about that day was reading that book! Later that night I locked myself in my room and read every page late into the wee hours of the morning. Needless to say, I finished the book in one day, which is an accomplishment I’ve never repeated.

After reading Outrageous! I knew, even at the tender age of 14, that Charles Barkley was awesome. I didn’t understand half of the book, but even then he made me laugh. He never wanted to be a role model, but he became one of my biggest sports influences.

Over a decade later, Barkley’s influence on pop culture is still evident. From his analysis on TNT, to his golf swing, to his Taco Bell and T-Mobile commercials, Barkley is still as relevant today as he was during his playing days.

I want to than Sir Charles, The Round Mound of Rebound, for making such a positive impact on my life. I hope he never gives up the lime-light and never gives up the one thing that has defined his image… a mouth that shocks common sense and a delivery that makes us all laugh.

Being an impressionist is kind of like being a stunt double for a movie star, it’ll impress a chick at a bar until the real Al Pachino wants to buy her a drink. None the less one man has found a way to thrive in the niche comedy, and that man is Frank Caliendo.  Below are some of his most classic sports spoofs from Jim Rome to Charles Barkley, they’re turribly funny.

Bill Walton

John Madden

Jim Rome

Charles Barkley

Sports and comedy come to a head this Saturday night when the Great Mound of Rebound, aka Charles Barkley, hosts Saturday Night Live. There should be many jokes that come at Sir Charles’ expense. This is after all the man who is coming off of a DUI, a (massive) gambling debt he “forgot” to pay off, has punched Shaq in a basketball game, has the worse golf swing I’ve ever seen and has gotten so fat that buffets shudder at the thought of his entrance. He has also proclaimed that he will be running for Governor of Alabama in 2014. That is not a joke, but probably will turn into one this Saturday. Did we forget to mention that during a game in 1991, Charles literally spat on a little girl in the stands? Even if you think that SNL isn’t funny, the thought of Barkley on a live comedy show is a can’t miss.

Oh and by the way, he’s a dumb ass…  He’ll tell you (and prove it) himself after the jump.

In all honesty we’re huge fans of Charles here at the Bore and we’ll certainly be tuning in (or DVRing it at least), it should be turribly funny.

If you don’t like Charles Barkley then you’re not a man. I fell in love with the Round-Mound-of-Rebound in 3rd grade when a buddy of mine gave me a stolen copy of Outrageous! I still have never seen the word “fuck” used more frequently and in more ways than in that book, and that includes Scarface.

Nowadays Barkley is just a regular-old millionaire, ex-NBA, television star with a drinking and gambling hobby (note – there’s no such thing as a drinking and gambling problems, which is why we used instead refer to these activities as hobbies).

In addition to drinking and gambling, Barkley enjoys a round of golf now and again. For those of you who have not seen Charlesswing a club you’re in for a treat. His swing is so bad I actually had a worse reaction watching it than I did watching my first viewing of Two Girls, One Cup… it’s that bad. As a matter of fact its so bad Charles has his own show on the Golf Channel where Hank Haney (Tiger Woods’ instructor) tries to fix it. Check out the show at http://thegolfchannel.com/haneybarkley.

If Hank can fix this maybe we should send him to Iraq next?