Thursday, December 3, 2009

Tiger Woods Straight Pimpin’

Author: Stretch

Personality-tiger-maybe-121404

You see, people….

Everybody expects this holy behavior cause he’s Tiger Woods. Expect him to behave this holy way. He’s just Tiger Woods. He ain’t Reverend Woods. He ain’t Pastor Woods. He ain’t Maharajah Woods. He’s just Tiger Woods….a man….and a man’s gonna be a man. A man is basically as faithful as his options. That’s how faithful a man is – no more, no less.

You see all these fat journalist guys going: “I would never do such a thing. This is a travesty.” I’m like, “nobody’s trying to blow you.” Ain’t no 24-year-old girls tryna blow Rick Reilly. Ain’t nobody trying to give Pedro Gomez some. I don’t give a fuck, you ain’t never gonna hear Pedro Gomez go: “Man, I wish these hoes would back up off me. I wish they would just back the fuck up off me.” Let a player play, shit!

That’s right, it’s damn near impossible for a man to turn down sex. It’s haaaaard for a man to turn down sex. We can stop chasing it – and even that requires some rehab – but it’s hard for a man to stop. If it’s chasing us, we can’t run that fast. It’s gonna catch us… Aww shit, pulled a hamstring, you got me…..

To listen to Tiger’s voice message to his mistress click here.

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9 Responses to “Tiger Woods Straight Pimpin’”

  1. snoop-d-o-2xg says:

    HAHAHA that picture is classic!

  2. TL says:

    LOL….great post!

  3. Marshall One-Dub says:

    That picture explains a lot about Tiger’s bitches and ho’s!

  4. Golf's4weiners says:

    lol its weird that snoop in golf gear still looks more gangster than Tiger in hood-rat-shit

  5. Lame Ass Post says:

    Ripping off Chris Rock in a lame ass post. “clever.”

  6. don vito says:

    this is a total and complete rip off of a chris rock bit. dude who wrote this should be busted for plagiarism and locked up for life…

  7. Bam Margera says:

    pretty sure thats intentional fellas… lol

  8. Dario Redman says:

    Tiger actually looks like a pimp in that picture. in most of his non-golf pics he looks like a nerd

  9. Cranberry Nutsack says:

    Yeah that’s from Chris Rock but who gives a shit? The picture is awesome and the combo makes for an entertaining post. If you’re in school its called “plaegerism” if you’re in the real world its called “resourceful”

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