The NBA Dunk Contest was a joke… again. Now the NBA is going to force another mediocre, anti-climactic All-Star Game down our throats and I’m not swallowing (that sounded really bad, but you get my point). The NBA All-Star Weekend been a complete joke so far, and I’m predicting the All-Star Game will be the biggest disappointment yet.

Considering the fact that Kobe Bryant, the second best player in the NBA, isn’t playing is enough for me. If that’s not enough to convince you, remember our post titled, “The NBA All-Star Game is a Joke” where I explained how washed-up All-Stars like Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson became starters because of fan voting. Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson playing in the All-Star Game? Give me a fucking break.

Twisted Sister couldn’t have said it any better, “We’re not gonna take it anymore!”

So, in defiance of the NBA, and their shit-bag All-Star Weekend, I’ve provided some alternatives to the All-Star Game tonight at 8:00…

1. Take your girl on a date and tell her you won’t even glance at the All-Star Game because you just want to spend time with her. This is a rare opportunity to put her first and get some serious brownie points (little does she know you’re not really sacrificing anything).

2. Winter Olympics coverage on NBC at 7:00 EST. Sure the Olympics suck, but they don’t suck as bad as the All-Star Game.

3. “The Secret Life of Tiger Woods” airs on The Learning Channel tonight at 8:00 EST. Personally, I think Tiger banging random chicks in Vegas is way more interesting than watching Allen Iverson try to keep up with real NBA stars.

4. ESPN has a SportCenter “Special” starting at 8:00 EST tonight. I don’t know what this is, but it’s gotta be better than watching Dwight Howard playing around trying to be funny during the All-Star Game.

5. Take a crap. If none of the first 4 options are for you might I suggest grabbing a good magazine and taking an hour-long shit? I’d rather be sitting on the shitter, waiting for my legs to go numb than watch the NBA All-Star game.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 14th, 2010 at 2:11 pm and is filed under NBA. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Tags: NBA All-Star Game